My grandmother will be 88 this year. And for so many reasons, she’s one hot ticket. At my wedding years ago, when one of our friends got a little flirty with her on the dance floor she said, “Son, I’ve got shirts older than you!”

She’s visiting my parents right now (at The Glorious and Relaxing Land of Grammy and Bah) and apparently she and my mom are on somewhat of a spring shopping spree. I’m wildly jealous of course.

It’s been proven time and time again that the women in my family are genetically predisposed to successful bargain hunting, so they’ve done quite well the past few days. So well in fact, that my mom has emailed a few photos of “Mema” modeling her new outfits – a new top and skirt, a new blazer, a new necklace. I’ve been absolutely marveling at these photos. She’s 87 ½!! I tell you, if I look half that good at that age I’ll be whooping it up at the senior swing dance every weekend, batting my eyes at the pharmacist when I pick up my meds, and stealing outfits from my granddaughter’s closet…although judging from today’s teen fashions I shudder at the thought of how skimpy things will actually get. I’m secretly hoping for a Buck Rodgers-esque fashion movement in a few years when we’ll all finally start wearing those futuristic silver spacesuit turtleneck outfits…but mine will have Spanx built in.

Anyway, Mema and I have this little ritual. Whenever I clean out my closet, I usually pass a few things onto her (hand-me-ups we call them). And most of the time, everything I offer up looks better on her. Yup, my 88-year old grandmother is a hottie. She’s a senior Heidi Klum.

In a few days, when the kids and I will be joining her at the Glorious and Relaxing Land of Grammy and Bah’s, I’ll have a stack of clothes ready to go, including a pair of trendy jeans. The last time I gave her a pair was in 1988.

They were acid wash. And she still wears them.

It even sounds like a school yard insult, “Your grandma wears acid wash jeans!”

Apparently upon hearing I’ll be bringing her some new blues from the current millenium; she declared that she is no way ready to part with her 1988 classics. Wow. I’m in for a battle of denim proportions. Despite her stubbornness though, I do commend her for the fact that a) her body has not changed in 20 years, b) she can pull off that look and c) they are not threadbare yet.

But still, enough is enough.

Mema, I’m coming for those jeans. Because in 2038, this senior is bringing acid wash back.