So I go to my beloved Target the other night to buy a few things for the kid’s Easter baskets and just a few random household items.

1 ½ hours AND $244.56 LATER, I complete my short shopping trip.

Whaaaaa??????!!! The audible gasp I let out upon viewing the total tallied by my red-polo-shirted friend is certainly futile, if not ridiculous. Because this happens to me EVERY TIME.

So I find myself wondering on the ride home…do I let myself quadruple my expected spending every trip because I know in my heart of shopping hearts that it’s my Target destiny to do so? OR, are the folks behind the bull’s eye such brilliant marketers and merchandisers that when I enter those wide automatic doors and get a whiff of those personal pan pizzas at the snack bar, something in my brain snaps!?!?

When gals like me stride through the door… full of hope that we’ll stick to our fiscally responsible lists…do they shoot an invisible dart of shopping adrenaline that hits us right between the eyes casting a retail spell over us as we navigate our extra large red carts mindlessly through the aisles?

Maybe the security camera is actually just for show and the folks back at corporate in Minneapolis just sit around in conference rooms with a web cam and popcorn getting a good laugh every now and then. I can totally see it…

I walk through the door at 8pm on Tuesday night, bleary-eyed, clutching a short shopping list scrawled on a post-it with a half-dried-up green marker.

“Hey Sally, come see this! She’s only got 5 items on her list! Ha!! Cue the ladies clearance belt rack and the ½ price sports bras!”

THWACK! Goes the invisible dart to my forehead.

Hmmm..I think I actually need some new workout stuff.

“Ha Ha! It’s like shootin’ fish in a barrel! Call Jerry in household and tell him to cue the spring door wreaths!”

THWACK!

Inexplicably my squeaky cart is suddenly veering away from giant low-price shampoo bottles!! But ohhh…what are those pretty green flowery things over there in the home section!?!?!

Just strolling by ladies pajamas on my way to bath towels. Oh those look comfy…
Thwack.
There’s the shiny summery swim stuff…we need goggles for swim lessons!
Thwack.
Star Wars underwear is on sale, I’ll buy 2 packs!
Thwack.
Tinkerbell lunch boxes that sparkle?!?!
A 24-pack of paper towels!?!?
A “HIGH SCHOOL MUSICAL 3″ DVD FOR ONLY $13.00?!??!
Thwack. Thwack. Thwack.

Sigh.

And then, it’s time to face the little neon numbers, $244.56.

Target, I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again.

I love you.

But it’s a wonder anyone gets out of there with $1 left in their pocket…which is exactly why you smart, smart people put the dollar bin section by the door.